The Book of Doubts
You are cordially invited to a ball for the benefit of the doubt Excerpts from the Book of Doubts Chapter III, The Advocate But why then do you wish to benefit the doubt, if certainty all ready you have achieved? This smacks of charity, this awful feeling, this event… Go dance but do not benefit the doubt! Eradicate all evil with your rod, clean our mouth, your body and your spirit, so squeaky clean that light might shine throughout. Yet is this not just like cholesterol? Left over mountains do you feed them to pigs, or close your eyes and let the “others” feast? While you instead feed on air enlightened and purified? What good is good if not for evil? What sense to make of ill if not for health? What sense of shadow if not for light? Ascribed a meaning of path to take, you had it all just figured out, sentenced and clearly, intentionally convicted, why bother then? Why then a dance to benefit the doubt? EW 5/25/00
More excerpts from the Book of Doubts If I did, I did not intend it If I did not, I wished If I made a mistake I will not again If I did not Maybe now I can. “no strings attached literature"
__________________________________ There was a fertile time in my life when I discovered and created Chapbooks, these wonderful self produced and published booklets that you gave away or sometimes sold at Farmer’s markets or writer’s events. This is one of them and I chose it because it is light and humorous. And as for me, I am entering the dreaded season of the heavy! My countdown started and will end on January 6, the beautiful Day of the Kings, with a deep intake of air in relief! ^--^ I promised myself, back in January of this year, that I would publish again and revisit old writings. I also promised that I would try to examine my intentions when presenting new ideas by tearing existing ones down, always with gusto. I love to tear stuff down and would probably do well in the demolition business… I imagined then, a bit tenuously, that I could be capable of producing writings that opened up possibilities, instead of closing them up. Still work in progress... The argument here is a tender one, full of doubts, because it seems I can only survive now if I practice a softness I am not quite accustomed to practice in my life. It is as if by now, as old as I am supposed to be, I have learned some of the rudiments of grace in prayers… I loved Christmas when I was a kid. Real candles, Santa apparitions, reds, shiny brilliances, moss and tannic scents of pine collected from the mountains, figs, popcorn and Mediterranean nuts, cracked open with a special magic tool. We also learned doors were good places to crack the nuts. It was great until it turned tragic…!
So, in my best soul spirit for the season, a holding space for each other, with no gifts and no words… then again, with lots of sparkling blinking lights, no matter the cost in energy, a few thoughtful homemade? some expensively printed gifts and great food! Grateful to be, once again ordinary and somewhat normal, at least for once a year ! Stay well!
The season is what I make of it, good and evil, illness and health, darkness and light all magnified. I like the idea of rebuilding. Or perhaps repurposing. Thanks, Erica!
I think you are in the demolition business. Breaking down to build something new and undefined. I want to know more about the tragic turn of events with the nuts and the door! Cheers to ordinary and somewhat normal, it won't last long, but the lights are pretty.